Monday at home

{old photo from 2012}

Though a normal week of classes is just two days for me, I'm looking forward to tomorrow off as much as anybody else.  It means no ten hours of sitting for classes or between-classes.  It means getting things done, over more cups of tea than my thermos can carry!


Oh, the day will be short enough, but I do want to get things done.


  • Start algorithms assignment due Wednesday.  I feel I'm doing dismally in this class and since most of it is beyond my control, trying not to care too much.  Just press on!
  • Spend some hours reading - and yes I keep saying that, but I really mean it this time.  Need to catch up with my own read-along, for one!
  • Work on my brother's b-day present.  :)

And if I get as much as all that done, it will be a day well spent!

Today after church, I really didn't do anything except watch a lot of TV programs.  I don't like TV or movie-watching marathons, but when it's on, it's on.  I saw:

  1. Eugene Onegin (Met Opera, Live in HD).  A re-play of the fantastic production I saw in October.
  2. Seattle Seahawks' game, 2nd half.  We won, meaning we're going to Super Bowl, and that's about all I can tell you about it.  :P 
  3. Downton Abbey, S4 E3.  Better than last week's episode, but I'm still unimpressed with this season's plot (the lack thereof).
  4. Sherlock, S3 E1.  A great return to a great adaptation!  I did have mixed feelings on some of it.  You can read my spoilery thoughts from my Tumblr post.

Well, there it is...quite a lot to chew on for this week.  Hope you have a good one!

Gloomy days

off-screen selfie

Two separate talks with two different people awoke me from my long reverie.  This was last Wednesday.  It has come back to perplex me, as I sit procrastinating.

I'd never learned before why they were in computer science.  We've been in the program together since day one of beginner Java...I guess we are just used to each other, like characters in a Conrad novel.  Anyway, it woke me up, as I say, to have these overdue conversations.  He wanted to study political science or law, but decided comp sci was more promising for job prospects.  Her post-graduation plan is primarily mine: to get a job.  The common theme didn't surprise me, but I had a strange feeling, something like deja vu, to know they had other interests, first choices, if you will.  Just like me - right?

This is my last year of college, and it's troubling me.  I have everything working to my advantage.  I like what I am learning and do not regret the choice.  Still, this past fall and this winter, I keep going under the strong feeling that something isn't right.  Listlessness is normal enough for me...procrastination is not.  Pointless feelings of dissatisfaction are not.

I had dreams before college.  I was going to be a music major.  Then I was going to major in computer science, but write books on the side.  As it turns out, I haven't finished any books since entering college.  But it's worse than that, since I write very little at all, and reading has become a chore.  (That's the real heartbreaker.)

Maybe it's because I've come back full circle to my childhood ambitions, where I wanted to read and learn and do a hundred new things.  The difference today is not even so much a matter of time (I have enough free time), but the list of things I want to do is overwhelming (exponentially greater than 100), and starting something new is so painfully difficult - not because learning is harder (it isn't), but my mind is so cluttered.

* * *

I've been hoping to find some reason or resolution for this post, but I guess this is just one of those journal entries.  ;)  Well, it's high time to sign off and do the assignment.  I haven't given up on 'childhood ambitions'; tomorrow, I'll try extra hard.

Origami T-Rex - WIP


Little sneak-peek of a current origami project.  My family has had this book, Yoshino's Origami Skeleton of Tyrannosaurus Rex, for so long; I attempted it many years ago.  Only now do I actually appreciate large-scale origami models, and find them relaxing!     

Pictured is the head and other "bone" segments scattered around it.  The paper is ex-notebook paper, which I think adds a fun pattern.  I am less sanguine about mounting the finished thing on a stand, but that is the goal.  :)

Monday's meanderings


You might remember this photoset from a year ago.  The first row shows bits and pieces of a "critter pen" simulation assignment.  The source of much grief, happiness, and pride! (And humor, ever after.)

Yesterday morning I was once again, this time intentionally, sitting in a lecture by this same professor, whom I'll call M.  Prof. M.'s classes are both challenging and reasonable.  It might have something to do with his attitude.  He is not lecturing at MIT, but that does not stop him from explaining topics with the clarity and earnestness of a world-class instructor.  I suppose if you go into college with expectations, you expect to have professors like M.  They do exist, if not in great numbers.

My other two classes paled by comparison, yet appear to be manageable, a big relief. 

Between the last two classes, I had my lunch in the humanities building - the most peaceful place to eat.  I sat near the window and by chance happened to see an old acquaintance walking past outside, which, though we didn't get to talk, cheered me up.  Afterwards, I went to the library, a sort of natural destination when I'm tired of sitting. 

The library, particularly the literature stacks, is utterly quiet, the quietest quiet I've ever 'heard.'  I wandered around and found this eye-catching volume:


Then I found my quiet place to sit and read for a bit, though having other things on my mind, I got fidgety.


When I get my own place, I don't mind if the view is gray, as long as I can see a long ways off.

No limit

He heals the brokenhearted
   and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars
   and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
   His understanding has no limit.

In January air



The sky is 'such a darling blue'; the world is cold, shadowy, and bright.

Recently, I came across a song called "February Air," by Lights.  (She sometimes collaborates with Owl City; beyond that, I am not familiar with her music.)  It is a little too early to be talking about February, but the wistful, wintry melody fits the weather here very well.


I was bored yesterday, so I pulled out a cardboard box from the closet and found a forgotten surprise.  Dad got me this little porcelain doll when he was in Hungary.  I couldn't put her back!


More than ever, I want to read The Brothers Karamazov, especially as part of the 2014 Russian Lit challenge.  It still intimidates me very much.  I think first I'll re-read Dracula, which my sister just got from Barnes & Noble.  Maybe it will help me transition back to the school year, which starts again on Monday (!).  I suppose I will have plenty to tell you next week!